A Polish nanny who didn't know English, the first to see through my secret hidden in the food.-8
Dosage Increase
Needed three and a half pills. Tried snapping them; never even. Switched to cutting with a kitchen knife. Brittle; they shattered easily, powder sticking to the blade. Scraped it into the cup, mixed with water. Bitterness strong; afterwards, a sugar cube sucked immediately. Marta found the wrappers. Asked if I'd developed a sweet tooth. "Occasionally." "Sugar before bed bad." Four pills brought morning dizziness. Needed to sit awhile before standing.
Once nearly missed a step downstairs, grabbing the railing. Marta saw. "Dizzy? Maybe pill side." "Maybe." "Tell Dr. Keane?" "Next appointment." That afternoon, a printed note appeared beside my computer. Listed common side effects: dizziness, balance problems, short-term memory impairment. I slid it inside a book from my drawer.
I Avoid Her
From then on, I changed my schedule. No more kitchen visits while Marta was here. I waited until evening. Confirmed her routine: usually retreated to her room by nine. After nine, the kitchen was empty. 9:10 PM – the click of her door closing. I waited five minutes. Left the study.
Walked the hallway. Passed her room. Light under the door. Entered the kitchen. Closed the door. Now, the space was wholly mine. No need for haste. Crushed six pills. Six. Powder almost covered the cup bottom. Stirred. Drank. Cleaned. All in silence. But the cost: later bedtime. Later dose meant effects lingering into the next morning. Woke groggier. Needed two coffees to function. Caffeine battled residual sedation in my system. Nausea churned.
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Needed three and a half pills. Tried snapping them; never even. Switched to cutting with a kitchen knife. Brittle; they shattered easily, powder sticking to the blade. Scraped it into the cup, mixed with water. Bitterness strong; afterwards, a sugar cube sucked immediately. Marta found the wrappers. Asked if I'd developed a sweet tooth. "Occasionally." "Sugar before bed bad." Four pills brought morning dizziness. Needed to sit awhile before standing.
Once nearly missed a step downstairs, grabbing the railing. Marta saw. "Dizzy? Maybe pill side." "Maybe." "Tell Dr. Keane?" "Next appointment." That afternoon, a printed note appeared beside my computer. Listed common side effects: dizziness, balance problems, short-term memory impairment. I slid it inside a book from my drawer.
I Avoid Her
From then on, I changed my schedule. No more kitchen visits while Marta was here. I waited until evening. Confirmed her routine: usually retreated to her room by nine. After nine, the kitchen was empty. 9:10 PM – the click of her door closing. I waited five minutes. Left the study.
Walked the hallway. Passed her room. Light under the door. Entered the kitchen. Closed the door. Now, the space was wholly mine. No need for haste. Crushed six pills. Six. Powder almost covered the cup bottom. Stirred. Drank. Cleaned. All in silence. But the cost: later bedtime. Later dose meant effects lingering into the next morning. Woke groggier. Needed two coffees to function. Caffeine battled residual sedation in my system. Nausea churned.
NEXT >>